I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
