That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
