trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
