Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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