omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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