In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
