Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
