I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
