Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
