I wish I could punch you in the face.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
