dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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