No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize