Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
