If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
