she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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