Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Randomize
