like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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