I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize