Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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