New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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