ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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