I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Your cock deserves a montage
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
