it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
