Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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