he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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