playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
