Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
