You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
