Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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