she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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