I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
