the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
