So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
