So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
