Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
