Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Randomize
