he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
