Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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