You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
you had me at cake vodka
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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