It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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