Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
