He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
