you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
