not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize