she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
That was before I lit my hair on fire
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize