Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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