As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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