when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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