That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
All I want is dick and wine.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
