I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
