I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
