they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize