im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
