went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize