did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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