it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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