ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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