i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
