If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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