I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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