Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
